Not Seeing Progress? Look Behind You.
Let’s talk about perception. When you look at me RIGHT now on Instagram, on this website, in virtual classes, you might see someone who looks like they absolutely have their shit together. Someone who is a bomb Pilates teacher, someone who is comfortable teaching fitness, someone with crazy shoulder muscles…. WYKYK, right? What people often don’t see when they look at me NOW is the journey that I took to get here, and the struggles that are still present even in success.
I am an ACE certified, POP Pilates Master Trainer. What does this mean? It means I teach a format that I love and I also teach others how to teach this format that I love. This must mean that I’m an excellent instructor who has always had full classes and radiates self-confidence, right? Yes and no. Let’s talk about how I got here.
Let me paint you a picture of me 5 years ago. I was just getting into a regular fitness routine and starting the process of trying things out of my comfort zone. I was following Blogilates on Youtube, only working out in the evenings because I was “NOT” a morning workout person and I wanted to get stronger but I was “NOT” going to do cardio because “It’s not how I workout”. I also prided myself on being “not a people person”. “No one understands me and that’s COOL”. Let’s look at that. There are a lot of “NOT”s. in there. I was sure confident in all of the things I was not going to do and I was sure confident putting all of these labels on myself.
Does any of this sound familiar? Being stuck because YOU are creating boundaries for yourself while blaming it on everything around you? Take a second and ask yourself these things really quick:
What are some things that are true about me?
What is true about the world?
What is true about my body?
What is true about my mind?
Okay, now read those back to yourself and take a REAL second to read between the lines. Are these ACTUAL, fundamental, hard truths? OR. Are these things that you are creating as truths? For example. If you wrote something such as, “my body doesn’t do cardio”, take a second to think about that. In the literal sense, if you move your body through a cardio workout…. your body DOES do cardio. It may not want to, but it was built to do things like that. So, is “my body doesn’t do cardio” a truth? No. It is a fear, a habit, a mindset.
Here’s the thing. Our brains are super powerful. When you repeat statements like that inside your head all day every day and when you say them out loud to other people, they start to become indistinguishable from actual truths. You can manifest opinions as truths. This can be a dangerous thing, if we aren’t mindful of the “truths” we are creating.
I’m going to step back for a moment and let you know that just because I’m writing about this, does not mean that I have all of my own habits in check. I am always creating narratives and false truths in my head. Here are some that float around on a daily basis:
I’m not strong enough to teach cycle classes.
I’m introspective, so I’ll never be able to easily connect with people.
I’m not feminine because my chest is flat.
I say awkward things during fitness classes.
New students who take classes with me are going to hate me and think I’m “weird”.
I talk too much.
I suck at writing blogs and no one reads them anyway.
These are real. These really go through my head regularly. I am thinking of them right now as I write this. If you resonate with this, that means you are normal! If you do not, you have amazing self-confidence, and don’t let anyone ever tell you that self-confidence isn’t attractive.
After I wrote my last blog post, I put it out there on Instagram, uncertain if it was well written or clear or if people were going to come at me for writing about nutrition without any sort of “degree” in nutrition. I let it sit out there in the world and just kind of decided that it wasn’t my best blog post. There was NO reason for this. This is just the story I created in my brain. Two weeks later I had TWO people reach out to me personally and tell me that they loved that blog post. At first, I got defensive in my head and thought, “Well, why didn’t you comment on it and tell me that you liked it!” Because I need that validation! And then I realized that not only did these people actually take the time to read my blog post, but they took something away from it and found growth. This is BETTER than someone leaving a “nice job” or “love this” comment on my blog post just for the sake of my ego.
It is SO hard to keep living life every day doing things that we aren’t certain about. Does anyone go around living life being absolutely certain and confident about everything they do? If you do, tell me how you made that happen, please.
Now, how in the world does this relate to “Looking behind yourself” and “here’s me 5 years ago”? The thing is, I STILL get caught up in these little nagging LIES every day that chisel away at my self-confidence. The difference is that when I look at where I was 5 years ago, it becomes blatantly clear what things were actual truths and what things were pointless lies that I used to hold myself back.
I am not a morning workout person - Today, I teach 7am classes almost every day and I PREFER this.
I am not good at cardio - Today I am a PIIT28 and Cycle instructor.
I am an introvert and I suck at communicating - Today, I successfully lead students through workouts with verbal cues and clear communication.
Are there any statements that you say about yourself that you wish “weren’t true”? Are you the thing that is standing in the way of making them not true? Challenge your brain and start asking yourself these questions the next time you catch yourself saying something negative about yourself.
Is this a hard and fast, literal truth or is this a STRONG opinion?
If I really think this is a hard and fast truth, why do I think that?
Do I WANT this to be the truth?
Who told me that this was the truth?
What are 3 arguments that could make this a lie?
What happens if I get out of the way?
Now, look behind you. Pick a number of years (more than 2) and pull out your binoculars. What were you doing then? What were some fundamental truths that you were walking around telling yourself? How many of those things are lies now? Makes you rethink what you’re walking around with right now, yeah?
The bigger question: How did those truths become lies or alternatively, become ACTUAL truths? If you HATED the thought of lifting weights, what changed that? Was it something you learned from someone else, a podcast, a book? Was it the fact that deep underneath those statements of all the reasons you “Don’t” lift weights, you really, embarrassingly WANTED to be a person who lifted weights but you were scared of failure, so you created a layer of protection by outwardly stating that this just wasn’t something you wanted to do? That sounds like a whole new level of insane, right? But raise your hand if you do that. Often. Don’t lie!
Let me drop an actual truth on you. At the risk of sounding super lame….YOLO. Like, STOP wasting your time creating webs of lies about all the reasons you DON’T want to do the things you are scared of. That is harder than just doing the damn thing and seeing how you feel FOR REAL.
Scared of cardio? Step up. Do a cardio class. The lie is that you “cant”. If you really and truly hate it and you come out feeling worse than you did going in congratulations, you can pat yourself on the back and move forward knowing that, hey, it really is true.
Scared of becoming a fitness instructor, personal trainer, coach, author, but that “what if” thought stays at the back of your mind? Sign up for the course, connect with the people, write the words and do the thing. DO IT. The lie is that you “can’t”. You can. Look behind you and appreciate all of the things that you have done and are capable of.
Get comfortable being that annoying person who questions authority all the time with your brain. Call it on it’s bullshit. Ask hard questions. Prove it wrong.
Look behind you and then keep pushing forward.